Buffina of the Shire
by Woodrow Graham Kenobi-Rimmer
Summary: Another Buffy multi-chapter crossover. This time she winds up in the Shire..as a hobbit! Starts just after the events of season 7 and just before Gandalf's arrival. Bilbo has never met a stranger hobbit. AU I do not own The Hobbit or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, any elements of them or anything related to them at all. No profit here.
1. Prologue

**Buffina of the Shire**

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><p><strong>Prologue: In Distant Dreams<strong>

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><p>Buffy's dreams had been fitful of late. Images of Spike being incinerated flashed before her on constant repeat. It had been two months since the destruction of Sunnydale and she was filled with more sorrow from the loss of Spike than she would admit to her friends. Sometimes it seemed like she was so full of wounds from the past that her heart could never heal. Angel. Spike. Her Mother. Tara. Riley. And countless other names and faces that faded from her memory with time. She should remember them, all that died or suffered at the hands of evil by her fault or not. She mostly remembered the most recent tragedies...the pote-the <em>slayers<em> and Spike. Spike who had loved her; she had loved him as well, but never in a way that would have worked. She was mortal and yet, never in a way that connected her with other people. She was wholly alone. Not a demon, but not truly a person either.

Maybe it was melodramatic to think that way. She could probably just retire now and find some nice guy, never tell him who she really was and live a normal happy life. That wouldn't change here alienation though. She was so weary of the world and its evils. The only people who could be kindred spirits were slayers long dead and gone. Faith didn't really count somehow, she wasn't how Buffy imagined a slayer should be, at least not the kind of slayer Buffy was. All at once she missed Kendra, whose personality and experience were different, yet whose spirit was of a similar kind. They both fought as if they were fighting through all their stolen choices of who they could have been, as if it was the only true therapy a slayer could have.

Buffy threw off the covers and walked to the window. Willow, Kennedy, Xander, Giles and Dawn were all sharing the house with her under the pretense of taking a break before picking up the pieces of their forever changed lives. She knew the truth. They sensed her emptiness. She could still be cheerful now and then and occasionally laugh, but her moments of joy were so brief, and tainted by her memories.

She could see only the other houses in the suburban neighborhood, well, apart from the night sky that is. Giles said that she was depressed and living away from Sunnydale would be good for her. How wrong he was. It was just another typical town in California with stores and restaurants and malls and everywhere the same stale scent of civilization. She used to love going shopping; she still kind of enjoyed the simple things like going to the movies and spending time with friends. She had a job now, at the mall in fact. She should be so happy, she had a normal life with jobs and clothes and good friends and a number that an attractive man had given her.

The truth was, she thought of offing herself sometimes. She would probably end up in heaven again. She couldn't really remember it now, but she knew without a doubt that she had been at peace and utterly content. Unfortunately her Slayer instincts, or maybe they were just her Buffy instincts, wouldn't allow her anything other than a strong will to live now.

She gazed at the stars; they were twinkling especially bright tonight. She knew there was some scientific reason why they appeared to twinkle, but she didn't really care. She preferred to pretend they were magical in some non-demony way. One star especially was glimmering brightly; it almost seemed to be becoming larger and brighter. Buffy stared at it a while longer and her brow furrowed. It didn't just seem that way, that star _was_ getting bigger and at an amazing rate. She had a feeling there was something she should do, but as she looked into the white ethereal light that reached to encompass her, all she could manage was to stand there and hope that heaven was taking her for the last time. All at once she was surrounded by a swirling mist-like light and the brightness of it was nearly blinding.

"Nifty." The Slayer said glibly.

Then the room was empty and the stars appeared as normal stars once more, but they were no longer stars for Buffy Summers' musings.

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><p>Bilbo commenced washing up after a most awkward visit from a nosy aunt who saw it as her duty to introduce him to every respectable and unwed hobbit female in the shire. Bilbo didn't like any of them. Not to say that he wasn't attracted to hobbit women, it was just that he found them all dreadfully boring or annoying; prattling on with their women's gossip. He'd rather be a bachelor. He was still fairly young yet anyway; he was only 51, in the prime of his life! His aunt could stuff it. Not that Bilbo would ever say so out loud, as he was a very polite hobbit. Bungo and Belladonna had raised their son to be a gentleman after all. What did it matter if he got married anyway? He had plenty of relations who were squeezing out baby hobbits left and right. He had friends and relatives that he enjoyed entertaining and visiting, a great pub nearby, a wonderful home and a grand garden. He was wealthy and content, what did he need a meddling wife for? He knew how a few meddling blokes would answer that question and he had to admit, the thought was appealing if unseemly. He could take care of <em>that<em> well enough on his own. There were some girls that were rather nice he supposed...

The truth was he had to have everything a certain way and he just hadn't met a hobbit woman that was that certain way he imagined. He had kissed and fondled a few lasses in his youth, but always it had been kind of pleasant but pointless, and there was always something false in it.

Besides, he hid it well, but he felt there was something peculiar about himself. A strange restlessness that came over him now and then; he had an unsettling theory that it might be some of the crazy Took blood that ran through his veins, threatening to surface. Already, he had a faint interest in books to do with things outside the safety of the Shire. For now, he chose to deny the existence of this pesky Tookness; almost enough to fool himself...almost.

Drying off the last plate and putting it in the cupboard, he went off to change into his nightclothes. His bedroom had no windows, but did have beautiful tapestries and a few paintings that were pleasing to the eye. He climbed in with his soft feather pillow and remembered how awful the hobbit girl from earlier had been. Not a brain in her skull. If only there was a female hobbit who was intelligent, amusing, interesting and pretty, with a strong spirit. Then he could marry her and get his aunt Belba off his back about the whole business.

The hobbit bachelor soon drifted off to sleep. His dreams were strange. A strangely clad girl he dreamt of, who looked weary of life and sad. There was also a white light, a forest and many dark tunnels...

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I couldn't get this idea out of my head. If you like it, let me know. Kindred spirits are swell.<strong>


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One: Buffina and the Elves...with Big Furry Feet**

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><p>Buffy awoke with a wide yawn and opened her eyes to a bright sunny morning. She unfortunately couldn't really appreciate it, do to the fact that she also happened to wake up in a wheat field. Buffy stood up slowly, remembering the night before and the bright whiteness.<p>

"Not so nifty." She could see a very primitive dwelling to her left with smoke escaping the chimney and to her right a path was visible that winded through rolling hills and fields. She was trying to think of logical explanations, which was a difficult task first thing in the morning, when she looked down at her feet. Her feet! They were considerably larger and dark blonde hair was thick on them. She shuffled them. Yup. Those were definitely her feet.

"Aces." She breathed, still more perplexed than anything else. It was then that she noticed she was wearing a dress with a bodice. The whole ensemble was in earth-tones. Those had never really been her thing.

Buffy started feeling the rest of her body that she could not see, to check if anything else was different. "Well this probably looks awkward..." Or so she imagined it would to whatever farmer or villager or whatever may walk by. Where was she anyway? England? Ohio? The past?

She found her hair to be essentially the same when she pulled a lock in front of her face, but no dye remained in it. She shrugged. Her legs weren't shaved either. "Whoever is responsible really goes for all-natural."

She then discovered her ears were pointed. "So what, I'm an elf now? An elf with big hairy feet. _Great_. I swear The Powers That Be get weirder with age."

Buffy sighed and started towards the path, lifting her skirts as she stepped through the wheat. She had known immediately that it was not a dream. She'd had enough prophetic dreams and unusual real experiences to know the difference.

Once on the path she chose to walk in the less inhabited direction. She must have walked a mile and passed all kinds of strange dwellings built into hills with farm animals and ponies that appeared larger than they should, when she saw a few trees to the side of the path, trees that were _really_ tall. Huh. Buffy was really hoping the reason for size distortion wasn't because she was unusually small compared to everything. This just got better and better.

Up ahead she saw woman who looked a bit shorter than her. She had rosy cheeks and thick curly brown hair and appeared to be middle-aged. She was carrying a basket and smiled when she saw Buffy.

"Hello there young lass! Is it not a splendid morning? I don't believe I've seen you in these parts before...I'm Grelda Greenwick by the way." The woman shifted her basket to her left arm and reached out to shake Buffy's hand. Buffy shook lightly, not wanting to chance hurting the woman if she still had slayer strength for some reason.

_Splendid. You bet. Completely bizarre would be more like it. _Buffy noticed as she looked down that Grelda wasn't wearing shoes and her feet were hairy as well. At least she wouldn't stand out...

"Hi. I'm Buffina Summers. I'm just uh...visiting my cousin. He lives around here...on a farm. He's a busy guy with the farm and the pigs and cows and...stuff, you may not know him." Buffy thought up Buffina on the spot, deciding it might sound less out of place than her real name, which pretty much sounded out of place everywhere.

"Well nice to meet you Miss Summers. I must say I haven't heard that name before, you live very far away?" Grelda was giving her a kind, but quizzical look. This lass's manner of speech was very odd.

"Very, very, _very_ far away. I'd better get going." Buffy said with a nervous laugh. "I don't want to be late. He's really particular about...on timeyness...I mean, my getting there in a timely manner."

Grelda was going to have a good bit of gossip to share with her friend Belba today, that was for sure. Never had she met such an odd girl. "Of course deary, you go along and have a pleasant journey. Here," The kindly hobbit opened her basket and handed Buffy some carrots and a small loaf of bread. "Stomachs are apt rumble quite a bit after a long walk and you are such a thin thing."

Once Buffy was holding the food she felt pretty ridiculously hungry. "Thank you so much. That is so nice..." Buffy felt awkward, not really knowing how to accept such generosity. "Have a nice day."

"No problem lass." Grelda replied, continuing on her journey in the opposite direction after giving Buffy a bright smile.

It is lucky for Buffy that she ran into a hobbit as nice as Grelda, but not so lucky that she ran into one so fond of gossip as Grelda.

Buffy kept walking, now wishing she had something to carry her carrots and bread in. She sighed yet again and started chomping on a carrot as she walked and tried to appreciate the beautiful countryside and the wonderfully fresh and sweet smell and feel of the air. No pollution here. No sir.

Buffy walked on so long that the sun was in an entirely new spot in the sky and her bread and carrots devoured by the time she stopped. Buffy didn't know it, but it was nearly tea-time for hobbits. All Buffy knew was that she regretted not asking Grelda more questions, maybe even seeing if she could stay with her, she seemed like a sweet...hairy elf. She sat down on a rock across from a walkway that led up to a round green door in the hill, deciding that the best way to learn what heck she was supposed to be doing here would be to really grill one of the locals. She dreaded it. It had been painfully awkward with Grelda and she was sweeter than candy. To make matters worse her stomach was grumbly again.

Buffy could not imagine where on earth she was. Maybe she wasn't even on earth, maybe she was in a demon-dimension, but why would the PTB send her to a demon-dimension? None of it made any sense.

She must have sat there feeling hungry and jerked around for at least half an hour, when she saw the round door open and a furry-footed elf-man appear. He had curly mouse brown hair and appeared to be in his thirties. He had an uber long pipe (phallic much buddy?) that he lit and promptly began to smoke. He still hadn't noticed Buffy sitting there evidently. He was looking up at the clouds. He made a large smoke ring that Buffy thought was pretty impressive. Apparently he thought it impressive as well because he smiled as he watched it float away on the breeze right towards Buffy. Then he noticed her.

Bilbo had gotten up that morning not expecting anything out of the ordinary, his dream about the strange sad girl mostly forgotten. It gave him quite a start when he saw her and found himself coughing from the leaf as if he had never smoked it before. She was very pretty and it embarrassed him that he couldn't stop coughing as soon as he would have liked.

"Hello there." Buffy said pleasantly, standing up, hoping he was the sweetest and dimmest furry elf in the neighborhood. (Bilbo was of course, neither.) "My name's Buffina Summers and I think I might be a little lost." Buffy tried to seem innocent and pushed out her chest ever so slightly, taking advantage of his maleness to the best of her ability.

Bilbo found himself simply staring at her with a dumb look on his face. She didn't resemble anyone he'd seen before and her name wasn't familiar, but she reminded him suddenly of the girl in his dream. Also, she was prettier than most girls he saw and seemed barely out of her tweens. He was altogether taken aback by this whole situation. He was just going to smoke some pipe-weed before tea...

Buffy got the impression that her routine had been effective. _Okay, so some things are the same everywhere..._ "Sorry to bother you, it's just that I'm _really_ hungry and tired of walking, and I don't know anyone around here. My Mom died a little while ago and I don't have any other family and I couldn't afford our house so I'm kind of on my own right now..." Buffy was surprised at the partial truths that escaped her lips and the almost solemn tone she had taken on. It must be because she was so _terribly_ hungry. Why was she so hungry? The man blinked at her. _He ain't buying it Buffy. _"If I'm giving you the wiggins, I apologize. I don't want to bother you. I can just leave." Buffy turned to walk away, now really pissed off at the PTB.

"Wait!" Bilbo almost yelped, leaning his pipe against his round door. He quickly bounded through the little gate and stood before Buffy, bowing deeply. "I apologize for my rudeness Miss Summers. Bilbo Baggins at your service." He stood up straight again. "Won't you come in for some tea?"

"Tea would be great!" Buffy said a bit too enthusiastically. Honestly, why did she wake up with her one love being food? "And I'm at your service of course." Buffy curtsied and smiled, hoping that didn't seem as suggestive as it felt.

Bilbo opened the gate for his guest and went ahead to move his pipe and open the door. Buffy stepped inside and he set his pipe in the corner and closed the door behind her. She was very exotic for a hobbit, he thought. Her hair was blonde with a bit of wave to it and she seemed trim and fit as if she got plenty of exercise. Also, her facial features were different than he had seen before and he couldn't come up with even a rough guess of what farthing she hailed from. She was out of the ordinary, but Bilbo was just a little bit enchanted. He hoped he wasn't having heart problems so young, because his heart was beating faster than normal.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: This story is primarily going to follow the plot of <em>The Hobbit<em> in case anyone is wondering. You can imagine Bilbo however you like, my personal idea of him is sort of a combination of how I originally pictured him and Martin Freeman who they cast for the movie (which I am extremely excited for). I should like a review if there is anyone who happens to find it enjoyable so far. I do hate it when people are demanding of reviews though, so I won't mention it again. I will only say that they definitely encourage me to post more, based on past experience.**


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two: Hobbit Hospitality**

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><p>"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable! There is a table right through there if you'd like to have a sit. I'll just go get some tea and cakes for us shall I? Anything else you would like?"<p>

Buffy barely heard him; she was examining the inside of what had appeared to be a hole in the hill with pure amazement. "Your home is...beautiful and...wow." Buffy walked in further to catch a glimpse of more passages. This guy must be loaded... "Oh, sorry. Whatever you're having is fine."

"Yes, of course. And, thank you. Perhaps you'd like to see the gardens after tea?" _What are you saying? Why don't you just invite her for an involved tour of the bedroom? No good will come of this..._

"Yeah, I'd love to." Buffy didn't care if he showed her around a sewer, as long as she got to eat something soon. Buffy saw that when Bilbo nodded he tried to hide a small smile at her response before disappearing to get their 'tea'.

Buffy wandered a little, unable to resist exploring the lavish underground house. It was like a five star cave or something. Buffy got the impression from his mannerisms and from snooping around his maze of a home, that he lived alone. Buffy could never help feeling flattered when a guy thought she was pretty. _Plus, he was kind of cute...oh god Buffy what are you thinking? You are very distraught about all the death and suffering and pointlessness of life, you are not attracted to weird elf-men with hairy feet and giant hill mansions._

Buffy started considering her predicament and how she should handle it, when it occurred to her that her behavior might seem suspicious. "Good job Buffy. Now the man with the awkward name will either think you're a dum dum or a thief. Awesome."

Buffy was turning, trying to figure out which way she came from when Bilbo appeared before her out of nowhere.

"There you are. Have you never lived underground before?"

"No, I haven't." Buffy thought honesty the best option on that one.

"Understandable then. Come along, the dining room is this way." _Let's hope you didn't bring a poor thief into your house Baggins. _

Buffy followed him, knowing that he was just being polite. When they reached the dining table he pulled out a chair for her. Buffy could get used to this treatment. She needn't have worried about being fed enough, the bounty before her was something to behold. She had never imagined tea time being such a feast. Buffy waited, not sure if she should wait for him to start eating first. It was at that moment that Buffy's stomach made a very loud and very hungry noise.

This Buffina Summers looked so embarrassed by her stomach's rumbling that Bilbo laughed. "Please eat! I will be right back; I think I hear the tea kettle." Bilbo bustled off, finding Buffina most amusing so far.

Buffy didn't need to be told twice. She dug into her berries and cream and grabbed one of the round bready things. She then cut herself a piece of whatever kind of meat that happened to be.

Bilbo returned and poured her some tea. "Do you take cream and sugar?"

Buffy choked on her round bready thing that she wasn't altogether certain she was supposed to be eating with her hands. "Yes...ahem...please." _Come one Buffy, it doesn't sound that dirty. Mind out of gutter. _There really hasn't been much sugar lately, Buffy thought. Some cream...she was human after all, or at least, she _used to be_. Now it appeared, she was an eating machine.

Buffy was relieved to find that once Bilbo sat down he ate as much, if not more than her. They ate in almost complete silence apart from asking the other to pass something until Buffy felt comfortably full.

"That was delicious. Thank you Bilbo-er, Mr. Baggins."

"You are most welcome." Bilbo said rising to clear up the mess.

"Oh let me help. I feel so bad for eating so much of your food." Buffy got out of her seat before Bilbo could protest and picked up her dishes.

The way Buffy was holding the dishes seemed precarious to him and he really wouldn't be a gracious host if he was to let her do the washing up just because she was female. "Please don't trouble yourself with the clean up," He nearly exclaimed, taking the dishes from her delicate hands. "I have it well in hand, please, go sit and relax."

"If you insist," Buffy replied with a yawn. "I'm just going to sit in that comfy chair over there then." Buffy sat down, feeling sleepy all of a sudden. She felt her eyes get heavy and had the vague thought that she ought to stay awake for some reason, right before she nodded off.

Bilbo was just about to tell Miss Summers that he was done cleaning up if she would like to see the garden now, when he walked in to find her asleep. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically with her breathing and her legs were pulled into her. She looked so peaceful that Bilbo couldn't bring himself to wake her. Instead he brought her a blanket and draped it over her gently. Her lips were parted the tiniest amount and she was curled up in a somewhat awkward position. There something otherworldly about her, all the same.

"Who are you Buffina?" Bilbo whispered softly to himself. She acted so strangely, but he found her exceedingly fair and she seemed a kind enough soul. He stood there a moment before remembering how rude and potentially creepy it was to stare at people while they slept. He was able to pry his eyes away and snap himself out of it at last. He went out to smoke again. It had become a day most out of the ordinary.

Buffy awoke feeling very rested only to find, by looking out of one of the few windows that the hill-house possessed, that the sun was starting to set. "My internal clock will never be right again." Buffy was kind of touched by the presence of the blanket that had been draped over her. Bilbo really seemed like a sweet guy. She folded the blanket when she stood up and for some reason she hugged it to her. As much as she was worried that she might not get back to her old life, she couldn't deny that it was pleasant so far to be one of these furry British elf people. Sure the personal hygiene and toilet situation was pretty abysmal, but everything seemed so simple here. She mainly hoped that no one back home was worried. Poor Dawn...

"I was wondering when you'd wake up."

Buffy turned and smiled guiltily. "Sorry. It's a..._really_ comfy chair. Thanks for the blanket by the way." Buffy wondered if she'd broken some etiquette rule because the hobbit blushed when she thanked him.

"Don't mention it. You looked like you could use the rest." Bilbo saw the sun setting out the round window. "Pray, why don't we go outside to see the sunset? You can tell me all about who you are and where you come from." Bilbo tried to make the words sound pleasant and natural, but he wasn't really able to force a very convincing smile.

While the strange hobbit woman slept he had not been idle. He had looked into Shire records and family trees; the name Summers was nowhere to be found. Nor did anyone at the _Green Dragon_ know it, or of a thin hobbit female barely out of her tweens with long and unusually straight blonde hair. It was all a bit queer and he had sensed that the moment he saw her. Still, he did not have substantial evidence to send her off like a lying beggar and was willing to listen to an explanation like a civilized person. In the back of his mind he knew that if she wasn't so pleasant and attractive, he probably would be pushing her out the door and wishing her goodnight right about now.

Buffy followed Bilbo outside and sat beside him on the steps. Her brain was too busy coming up with pretend back-stories for her to be able to appreciate the sunset as much, but she did think it was one of the better ones she had ever seen. She had noticed Bilbo's suspicious expression and his ill-hidden tone of accusation; she'd sort of been hoping he wasn't too quick on the uptake. No, meeting his questioning eye now she could see she had misjudged him by underestimating his intelligence and considering him naive.

Bilbo got a rather breathless feeling as Buffina met his eye; it was if she saw all that he guessed. "Either your name isn't Summers or you don't live in the Shire." Bilbo said more tersely than he intended, due to the rarely kindled carnal desire that was threatening to surface every time he looked at her.

Buffy was tired of making up stories. She knew he wouldn't be able to accept the truth, but if she was stuck here then she wanted a fresh start without innumerable secrets. Even if everyone thought she was crazy, at least she wouldn't be living the lie she had lived everyday for so long.

"Summers is my last name, but I don't live in the...Shire was it? I come from somewhere very far away and very different and honestly, I don't even know how I got here. I just woke up this morning in a field with furry feet and elf ears." Buffy couldn't help but smile at Bilbo's befuddled expression; he looked as if he were trying to figure out if she was joking or just insane. "I don't expect you to believe me, but I swear it's the truth. You can think I'm crazy or demented or whatever you like. I don't want anything from you; if you could just let me stay here tonight and maybe not let anyone burn me for being a witch or anything like that; that would be great." Buffy couldn't read the hobbit's face anymore. "I'm really sorry to bother you. I don't want to take advantage of you; I just thought you seemed like a nice guy who might understand that I really am just...lost. If you want me to leave now, I will understand. I ate your food and slept in your chair, I've probably invaded your privacy enough."

Buffy stood up, barely able to hold back tears. She was usually tougher, but having her life snatched from her without her consent was a bit hard to face after all that had happened during the past few years.

"Buffina," Bilbo had stood up as well and although he knew he'd no doubt live to regret his decision, he couldn't just let her leave with no place to go. As utterly shocking and absurd as her tale was, he had rarely seen anyone seem so sincere and the sadness in her eyes was deep and vast. He couldn't just leave her to whatever fate, he was quite sure somehow that she was a decent lass, whatever else she may be. "I should like to think I am not the sort of fellow who would turn out a homeless young woman. Why don't you stay the night? I have many guestrooms for just that purpose." Having a seemingly unwed woman stay the night wasn't exactly proper, but it was completely innocent really and no one need ever know.

"Thank you." Was all Buffy could think of to say, and she meant it.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Sorry it has been so long since my last update. Life happens I guess. Anyway, I'm working on later chapters again so I figured I'd start the ball rolling once more. :)<strong>


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three: A Good Reason for Ear Twitchage**

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><p>"Mmm...soft warm bed, maybe it really was just a dream." Buffy rolled over, pulling the covers with her. She deeply inhaled the scent of her pillow. Her eyes opened. Her pillow didn't smell right, not bad, just not like her pillow. The room was filled with that faint light that occurs when the sun is newly arisen, but there are no windows pointed to the east. Her eyes adjusted and she saw that the light was coming from a solitary round window that looked out over a sumptuous flower garden. Not a dream at all, and yet, she couldn't bring herself to be very upset. Her bed was so cozy and the clothing Bilbo had mentioned was hanging in an armoire. He had told her last night that he had kept a few things that belonged to his mother and put them in the room for her. Buffy understood; she had some items that were her mother's as well, it was hard to let go.<p>

Buffy had been particularly grateful that Bilbo's mother owned a nightgown, since Buffy was worried she might have to get up in the night, but would rather flash the whole neighborhood than to be forced to wear that uncomfortable dress to bed. It wasn't too bad, but definitely not good for a sleepy Buffy. Bilbo had given her one of the few rooms with a window because she wasn't used to being underground.

Buffy got up and made her bed, it was the least she could do, and began changing into the least stifling of Belladonna's outfits. As she struggled to fasten herself in she marveled at how accustomed she had become to the feet and ears. Looking in the mirror now, she thought she was almost...cute. "More like puppy cute than princess cute, but you'll do." She had even gotten used to Bilbo's appearance and her original thought that he was kind of cute was returning. His generosity and obvious wealth didn't hurt either. She got this feeling now that she had never truly loved Spike in the way a heroine should love a hero, Spike had known it too. She had punished herself for his death, but she'd be kidding herself if she truly believed she'd had enough time to love anyone when he was interested. The thought made her feel guilty, but also released. It was a release in a way to be away from what she knew, she could finally stop worrying and feeling the obligation to play martyr for everyone else.

Buffy brushed the tangles out of her hair, which smelled fresh and clean from her bath last night. She hadn't been crazy about the idea of taking a bath in Bilbo's house, but had given in eventually. Buffy wasn't stupid, she knew that baths were probably much rarer around here, in the Shire. At last she looked presentable. Hobbits, as Bilbo had informed her they called themselves*, didn't wear makeup, so she felt a little strange going without. It surprised her though that simply because nobody else shaved or wore makeup, she felt almost no need to either. What did she care? If the PTB were gonna land her with whatever this gig was, she was going to treat it like a vacation.

The moment she opened her door, the divine scent of breakfast assailed her senses. She walked into the kitchen to find Bilbo hard at work. She leaned against the doorframe and didn't alert him to her presence. Buffy watched him, noting how meticulous he was and how he often would mutter softly to himself. It was clear he was used to and perhaps even liked, living on his own. Buffy wondered momentarily if he was gay, but decided that was overly judgmental and was really beside the point.

Bilbo smiled as he fried the eggs, he couldn't help it. Buffina thought she could stand there without his noticing, but his ears were too good for that. He hadn't looked at her though; he was curious how long she would just stare at him.

Buffy's eyes narrowed when she saw Bilbo's smirk. "You knew I was standing here this whole time, didn't you, you naughty hobbit."

Bilbo turned away from his frying to protest being called 'naughty hobbit' and was struck by how beautiful she looked. He wasn't sure how she had found that low cut ensemble, his mother must have worn it long before his first memory. Bilbo had intended to fake indignation at her teasing, but instead found himself saying, "You look unspeakably pretty today." Now _he_ was _unspeakably_ embarrassed.

"Thank you. You look handsome yourself." Buffy replied, and as the hobbit turned back to his cooking she couldn't deny that he had something about him.

"I seriously doubt that." Bilbo said with a self-deprecating laugh. He actually thought himself reasonably good looking for a hobbit, but all at once he felt sort of bashful.

"Pshaw. Can I help?" Buffy asked. "I know how to fry eggs and...pour milk and cereal into bowls. Seriously though, I want to help."

"You can carry the bread and butter into the kitchen if you like."

"I don't know, that sounds pretty hard..." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Yes, that might be beyond you." Bilbo responded, but he was smiling.

"You would be surprised how useful I can be Mr. Baggins." Buffy said before carrying in the bread and butter anyway. Buffy hadn't really thought about it, but as she was walking in and out, taking things from Bilbo and putting them on the table, it dawned on her that might have sounded suggestive.

They were both sitting down when Buffy blurted out, "I meant useful as in cooking, cleaning, killing monsters, that kind of thing. I didn't mean like a...in the bedroom...thing."

"Right..." Bilbo said very slowly, more perplexed by the killing monsters comment than anything else. "That's a shame." He said with a straight face and started eating.

Buffy stared at him with her mouth half open for a moment, unsure if he was joking or not. Bilbo looked at her. "I was hoping you were good at changing linens."

Buffy grinned and started eating. He kept a straight face, but there was a glint in his eye. "So, is the Shire in England? You have one of those superior sounding British accents." Buffy wished she'd never attempted to clarify her meaning, because now she was imagining what it might be like in Bilbo's bedroom...she snapped herself out of it. Little elf-hobbit things having sex..._that _was not a path she wanted her mind to wander down.

"No, I've never heard of an 'england' but we don't bother with the affairs of outsiders like dwarves and the Big Folk...Buffina, are you all right?"

Buffy eyes looked kind of glazed and she was staring at nothing. "What? Oh...I'm fine. You can just call me Buffy, by the way."

"Buffy...it's an odd name isn't it?" Bilbo's mouth was quite full as he asked.

"Speak for yourself..._Bilbo_." Buffy retaliated hastily. Perhaps so much slayage had made her tongue a bit too quick with retorts.

Bilbo gave an indignant "Hmphh!" and was opening his often disapproving mouth to further retort when there was a harsh knock on the door. His hobbit senses were offended by the rudeness of such a knock and his ears twitched so he could tell if there were voices he would recognize.

"Wow...nice ear twitchage...twitchage. That is _way_ too hard to say."

"Shhhhhhh!" Bilbo held a finger to his lips and tip-toed towards the door.

"Suspicious little guy aren't you?"

"You don't know some of my relatives!" A shudder ran through him at the thought of the Sackville-Bagginses. Bilbo crept towards the window when they both heard a deep voice.

"Bilbo Baggins! I know you are home! Open this door you foolish hobbit, before I bring it down myself!"

"Gandalf?" Any hobbit in the Shire could recognize that authoritative yet soothing baritone.

Bilbo scurried to open the door, leaving a bewildered Buffy in the kitchen.

"My goodness Bilbo, I expected better manners from you. Neither of your parents would have left guests waiting at the door like that." The wizard ducked his head to walk in the half-size abode, a rather respectable-looking dwarf at his side.

"Many apologies! I don't...—

Gandalf cut him off gesturing to the dwarf with him. "Let me present Thorin Oakenshield."

"Bilbo Baggins at your service!" Bilbo said with a deep and abrupt bow.

Thorin nodded, expressionless.

"Alright Bilbo, don't be rude, why don't you bring us some refreshments. I believe there is someone in your kitchen I very much need to speak with."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I have no doubt I am going to get Gandalf out of character more than I would like, for this I apologize. I expect to post the next chapter within a few weeks with any luck. Thanks for reading and the story alertsfavorites and reviews. :)**


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four: Broken Plates and Delicious Cookies**

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><p>Buffy found herself nibbling at her pastry well the old giant man talked. He felt like someone trustworthy, yet from years of experience Buffy could sense power to be reckoned with in his aura. He seemed to know everything about everything.<p>

Buffy caught bits and pieces of what was being discussed. It was clear that there was a mission involving a dragon and Thorin's crib, taken from him in days of old, yada, yada. It was sad, sure, but what did any of this have to do with her and Bilbo?

Speaking of Bilbo...It was clear to anyone with eyes that this barrage of dwarves was turning him into a nervous wreck. He'd been a whirlwind of a host, constantly fetching munchies for the dwarves, who apparently weren't on any special diets. Buffy met his eye and he attempted a smile that looked like a wince.

Buffy was tired of waiting. This wizard dude had given her a very pointed look when he came in and then promptly forgotten all about her, going on about mountains and dragons and other things that sounded suspiciously demony to her. The song the dwarves had sung about breaking Bilbo's dishes had been amusing, but very unnecessary given Bilbo's state of being.

"Uh excuse me Mr. Ganondorf or whatever your name is, but I thought you said you needed to speak with me, and so far, you've been very speaky but not with me. I personally would love to know what Bilbo has to do with Thorin here's problems anyway, he doesn't exactly scream dragon-slayer...or any kind of slayer for that matter."

All at once the room was silent apart from the gentle crackle in the hearth. The eyes of every dwarf, Bilbo and the enormous old man with the cliché pointed hat were on her. Buffy was confused when the old guy smiled at her.

"You may call me Gandalf, and yes, I must speak with you, but alone. You're presence here is no small matter; you could change the course of countless events to come Buffy Summers. We will talk later." He said with finality. "As for Bilbo, he may not be a warrior like you, but he is not without his merits. He will make an excellent burglar, as I have been explaining to Thorin on our way here."

Thorin made a derisive sound and the other dwarves had expressions ranging from amused to annoyed. Bombur just looked indifferent, stuffing foodstuffs down his greedy gob at a disgusting rate.

A small 'eww' escaped Buffy's lips and she had to look away. "You're a burglar?" Buffy voiced, eyeing Bilbo in disbelief. "You seem more comfy than steal-y to me."

Bilbo was feeling beyond stressed. "B-b-b-burglar?! Of course I'm not a burglar! I'm a hobbit and a gentleman and I don't want to go on some fool adventure. It sounds dreadful!" With a huff Bilbo left the room and Buffy heard the slam of a round door.

Bilbo the Teacake Slayer was obviously not as accustomed to this stuff as Buffy. It all sounded very par to her.

Gandalf rolled his eyes. "He'll come around by the morning, you'll see." He assured a rather angry looking Thorin. The kind-eyed wizard turned to Buffy. "Now Miss Summers, why don't you join me on Bilbo's porch while I enjoy some pipeweed."

Buffy slid off her chair, following the cocky wizard. "Kay...but I'm not a fan of the lung-cancer. Plus...bleck." Some of the dwarves gave her weird looks; she ignored them.

It was warm and peaceful night, the sky positively glittery with stars. They must be so bright because there was no electricity, light pollution was non-existent. Huh. Living mediaeval wasn't all bad.

Buffy watched smoke rings circle Gandalf's hat, some drifting higher and higher until they became more mist than ring and vanished slowly.

"Your appearance in our world Buffy Summers, was not supposed to happen. Other powers are at work, powers from your world. They want you to change the story somehow. Why, I cannot say. The only thing that is perfectly clear to me at this moment is that your destiny is tied-up with Bilbo's somehow, for better or worse. You were meant to find him, obviously."

Buffy considered his words for a moment before answering. "I don't know why I'm here either, but I can't say that I'm in a hurry to get back. I know it's selfish of me. My sister, my friends...they'll miss me. I won't do it anymore though."

"What's that dear?"

"Live every single day with no purpose, lots of shoes and less drama yes, but no adventure, no...prophecy to fulfill. I'm useless there now, what with Slayers popping up like zombies whenever some bite the dust." Buffy sighed deeply, lamenting that there wasn't much she could do to save any of them; it was a dangerous life. "I used to complain all the time that I couldn't have a normal life and now...it's the last thing I want. I feel stupid and crazy, but part of me thinks, my cookies are golden brown. All that time I resented my calling, it was just raw cookie dough giving the people around me salmonella and...and now I'm confusing myself with an analogy that was a failure the first time I used it." Buffy looked at Gandalf uncomfortably. The expression on his wizened countenance was understanding, but there seemed to be laughter in his twinkling eyes. Something wasn't human about those eyes.

"Then I think, you are precisely where you need to be. Bilbo will need all the help he can get on the path before him."

Buffy nodded and then started, narrowing her eyes at the tricky old...whatever he was. "You expect me to go with him and the 13 Grumpys on their dungeons and dragons campaign don't you?"

Gandalf didn't speak, but the smile that twitched at the corners of his lips was enough to convince her.

Buffy gave the wizard a small smile. "Well, I do kinda think he would be dragon-kibble without me. Besides, how hard can a suicidal mission into a dragon's lair be for a girl who lived on the Hellmouth for 7 years of her life?"

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I apologize for the delay of my post, but I am a flighty one when it comes to muses and writing. A fancy takes me and then releases me, only to take over again. Thank you so much for you patience. :) The real 'journey' will begin in the next chapter...I'm excited.<strong>


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five: Myrtle and Chomper**

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><p>Buffy lay in bed, unable to sleep. Hearing Thorin hum the somehow moving song about the Lonely Mountain in the room next to hers didn't help any. She was surprised at her own exhilaration brought on by the prospect of having a foe to fight once more. She knew that she could be a great addition to Thorin's company due to her vast experience in fighting evil, but could tell from his condescending gaze that he didn't share her opinion. She had overheard him expressing his chauvinistic opinions to Gandalf when he thought she was out of earshot.<p>

"You're really pushing it with this request wizard. How do you expect us to protect a young Hobbit girl, who seems to know even less of the world than this odd Mr. Baggins you've forced upon us? They are like children! And what's more, now you inform me that Buffina is some kind of an imposter from another land. We cannot know that she is benevolent, in fact, I doubt it. I have never been in the presence of a less refined or respectful woman. She insists on calling me 'Thor' and when I became justly annoyed by this teasing, she told me, 'Thor, I'm sure you are just a super dwarf prince, but you need to spend less time worrying about slaying that dragon in the mountain, and more time concentrating on the one that must have crawled up your britches this evening.'. I was about to call her something most discourteous in dwarfish when she cut me off, saying, 'DO NOT _even _start with me Oakenshield. You were rude to my friend and therefore, are very close to being on my bad side. You wouldn't like it there.'. I was so taken aback at her abrasive, unladylike threat; I was temporarily at a loss for words."

"Thorin son of Thrain, if I say to you Buffina will be an invaluable member of the company who will require less protection than your youngest men, I suggest you heed my words. As for her disrespect, she is not used to the customs of this world and I nearly agree with her; you and the others took a bit of advantage of poor Bilbo tonight. You shall start your journey with not one, but two excellent burglars, take heart in this knowledge my friend. Let us cease further discussion on the matter; it is clear you cannot see in them what I do, if you did, you would not be so quick to doubt them."

"Very well. I will trust you in this matter for the time being, but they'd best not test my patience."

More may have been said after that, but Buffy didn't stay to listen. It was really the dark ages around here. The other dwarves didn't seem much better; they were all at the very least uncertain of her. She would be uncertain of her too. Bofur had winked at her, but in such a way that implied more friendliness than she was altogether sure she wanted. Fili and Kili seemed less distrustful, but she could have sworn they'd both given her the once over. Prickly and pervy were the two main mentalities she was faced with it seemed. Well, maybe that wasn't so different from her usual lot. Her life had never exactly been lacking in strange characters.

She wasn't sure if Bilbo had psyched himself out of going or not, but either way she wasn't leaving without him. Despite being a bit worried about his safety on the mission, she wanted him to stay with her. Buffy just had a feeling in her gut that he was someone to be trusted, and a friend would be nice. He'd probably be in less danger than friends of hers typically were over the years, considering there was a wizard and thirteen dwarves to look out for him if she couldn't. That was the thing though, she wasn't positive the dwarves would look out for him, and if she left him here...well, she just plain didn't want to. She could tell that Bilbo was enthralled by the tales of these faraway lands where people were turned into barbecue by gold-wallowing dragons; he failed epically at aloof. She didn't want to sit around at Bilbo's house forever blowing smoke rings either.

She had already, with the help of Gandalf (Bilbo had become agitated beyond usefulness by that time), found a traveling bag and packed provisions she would need for the journey. Gandalf had told her not to bring more than one change of clothes, but she'd stuffed in a dress anyway. She wasn't going to give up the fashion-loving part of her personality just because she was stuck in a bizarre fairy-tale world with delicate Hobbits, demony wizards and sexist dwarves. The breeches and warm jacket she had found that belonged to Bilbo's Mom would be lifesavers. She got the vibe that Belladonna had been a feisty lady. She'd packed more grub than the wizard had told her to as well. He couldn't know the hunger that came with this bottomless pit of a stomach she had now.

As a deep sleepiness gradually crept over her, she mused absentmindedly that if Thorin wasn't such a jerk, he'd be kinda handsome really. Who'd of thought that Buffy Summers would be sleeping in a hole in the ground thinking furry elves and dwarves weren't so bad to look at after all. Yep, that proved it. She really was still trapped in that clinic, a complete fruit basket.

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><p>Buffy was worried because Bilbo was taking so long. She had managed to slow her pony down enough to trail at the rear of the party, and looked behind her compulsively, trying to catch sight of the skittish hobbit. Gandalf had told her to be patient, he would come, but she was beginning to wonder; he was beyond late. There was a small part of her that couldn't help but be slightly hurt at the idea of him not coming, as if her being there would in any universe be a sufficient reason to go...Stupid Bilbo Baggins being all into his normal (well, relatively) life; who needed him?<p>

They were just approaching the Inn in Bywater, when she saw him running as if his life depended on it toward them. Balin was there to greet him and Buffy smiled widely, glad that he had that bit of Took in him after all, which Gandalf had mentioned.

Bilbo fussed about handkerchiefs and money, but they reassured him he would live without such things and brought him his own pony. He looked as reluctant as Buffy had felt.

"I wasn't sure about it either, but it's actually not that hard." Buffy said from atop her own black pony, meeting his eye cheerfully. "You just have to make sure it knows you're the pony-boss."

Bilbo wasn't sure he had ever been this glad to see someone. He hadn't seen her at first because she had been behind Bombur, and had been afraid she had gone off on her own never to be seen by him again. Thankfully his fears were short-lived in that regard. He approached his brown pony, smirking; Buffina had an effortless sense of humour.

"I thought you might have gone off. To find your home or something."

"Same to you oversleepy man. But no, I'm not even sure I have one to find...not yet anyway. I'm glad you came."

Her genuine smile was infectious and he noted that her hair was up today in a large braided bun and she was wearing pants and a cloak; the ensemble suited her somehow. "What? And miss out on a dangerous adventure with surly dwarves (there was a small exclamation of, "hey!" from Ori in response to this description) and a possibly insane woman? Wouldn't dream of it."

"Hardy har har, Mr. Handkerchief." She retorted dryly, but she winked at him, wondering immediately afterwards if it was like Bofur's wink. Dwalin rolled his eyes at them and Kili whispered something to Fili, but she chose to ignore them; otherwise she would have been tempted to stick out her tongue, which was never a strikingly mature move.

Balin gave Bilbo a small smile and Thorin seemed to become impatient with these sentimental moments.

"Up you two get, and off we go!" He snapped.

Bilbo mounted his pony quickly and it soon fell in stride with Buffy's. Most of the company seemed to lapse into a comfortable silence after that. Bilbo's thoughts became a persistent but gentle jumble of questions about what this adventure would hold, and what indeed, were all the mysteries of the woman next him.

Buffy's eyes surveyed the beautiful country as they rode through, and decided once and for all that there was no way this could be a demon dimension. Like Bilbo, she was curious about the quest before them. Would it be just lots of travel with a big finish? She doubted it; stuff like this was never as straightforward as it sounded. Her prediction was that she would have to borrow an axe and use it on some baddy or another before a week was past.

She saw two young girl hobbits pushing each other on a tree swing, the one doing the pushing was gleeful and the one on the swing was looking irritated. The annoyed expression on the younger girl's face reminded her of her own sister. Dawn...

Dawn had not held up well when their mother died, or too famously when _she_ died either. Dawn was strong, but this would hurt her, assuming that any memory of Buffy still remained with her. If the memories of Dawn could be nonexistent and then suddenly vital, it was just as possible that memories of herself could go from constant to nil too. Maybe it would be better that way...

Buffy's stream of thought was momentarily disrupted by the return of Gandalf, who apparently came and went as he pleased. She noticed that Bilbo now looked more relaxed and she felt a bit relieved herself; his presence had a soothing effect.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Buffy asked her hobbit friend, realizing how little she knew about him.

"No I don't. I used to sort of want a sister when I was child, but it's better that I didn't have any siblings I suppose; I hear they're quite a bother." He turned his head to look more closely at the girl. She seemed contemplative and tiny bit sad. "What about you?"

"I have a sister, or maybe 'had'. Her name's Dawn." Technically she didn't have a teenage sister until a few years ago, but that was a long story that she didn't feel like dumping on Bilbo. Besides, then she would have to talk about her Mom and dying, and past boyfriends would come up; she would like to postpone that conversation...possibly forever.

"You know, I think her name might be odder than yours." Buffy's lips curved into a lopsided smile at this statement; only in this freaky fantasy version of ancient history would her name be considered weirder than Dawn's. "You must miss her."

"Yeah...more like worry. She would probably love it here. I've been realizing recently that things like magic and history and dragons are really something she's into." Imagining Dawn as hobbit was no easy feat for the slayer...her sister was so...tall. "Wait, so you wanted a sister, but not a brother...how come?"

Bilbo had never really thought about it. He supposed he liked being the only son and didn't want a brother to compete with. And brothers seemed so...pesky. He knew from playing with his Took cousins as a boy that they could be absolutely taxing. More than a few japes were pulled on him at the hands of male cousins. He couldn't see a sister pushing him in a pig pen or tricking him into holding stolen apples while she scampered off to avoid the orchard owner's wrath. "I don't know really...I guess, girls are usually just...nicer."

"Oh, how naive you are my furry-footed friend. You know, from what Gandalf said about her and by looking at some of her stuff, I think you're Mom was kinda pesky."

"Well..." Bilbo wasn't sure how he felt about describing his Mom as 'pesky', but she had been fond of a joke and he remembered her telling him wild tales of strange creatures and far off lands when she tucked him into bed at night. "She was a respectable woman, but she had a great deal of spirit. She would have found your tale most intriguing and have bombarded you with questions about your world." Now that she mentioned it, his mother being a naughty youngster was very likely. His father had said more than once, sounding slightly disapproving, that she was, 'a Took to the marrow'; his mother would smile at these words.

"She sounds like an awesome Mom."

"She was wonderful." Bilbo replied quietly, looking down and fiddling with his reins. Buffy took this as her cue to drop the subject.

"We should give our ponies names." Buffy suggested after many minutes of relative silence.

"I think mine looks like a Myrtle." Bilbo said, affectionately patting the mare's neck.

"Definitely. Mine is uh...wait a second, is this a girl pony or a boy pony? I didn't think to check." Buffy didn't care for the name Myrtle too much, but something about it seemed right when Bilbo said it in his cheerful British accent.

Bilbo's eyes darted quickly down and to his left. "Ehem...boy. Definitely a gelding."

"Geld-uh-whats-it?"

"A boy horse that's been uhm...castrated." Bilbo answered, evading her half amused, half disturbed gaze.

"Yowchie. Gotcha. Hmm...he's black...so I could call him...Blackie? No, not good, not good at all. Uhm...he's always trying to eat grass so I will call him...Chomper." The Slayer decided she liked this name. She wasn't too great at original names; at least this one was cute and not quite as obvious as, 'Mr. Pointy'.

Bilbo chuckled. "It's very fitting. He's a hungry one isn't he?"

"Ugh...me too." Buffy groaned loudly, and this elicited loud grumblings of agreement from Oin, Gloin, Bombur, Ori and Bilbo.

Buffy and Bilbo exchanged a smile, and Buffy watched as a flock of birds flew up and away from nearby underbrush as they rode past. She didn't want to jinx it by speaking out loud, but it seemed to her at this moment, the mission might have a fighting chance.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: So I have decided that the dwarves in my version will be a bit more like the movie versions personality-wise. Other than that, I will try to stay fairly close to the book as far as story and scenes go. I think I heard Bilbo call his pony 'Myrtle' in the movie though, and I really liked that. <strong>

**I really appreciate everyone who has reviewed, followed or favorited; it makes my day. :) I am loving writing this story, so I need little encouragement, but it's always nice.**

**I am considering bringing in other characters (not many, only 1-3) later on in the story; let me know if you are strongly for or against that idea. It would probably be Dawn, Anya or Andrew because they're fun to write. Just something I was thinking about casually.**

**Oh, and I know that wasn't exactly how Gandalf showed up in the book, but I figured that Buffy's appearance in Middle-Earth would probably disrupt little events almost immediately. Plus, Gandalf knows how to handle everything accordingly...he's Gandalf. Also, it is fanfiction. lol. I take it semi-seriously though. I don't every want to be insanely off the mark.**

**I bet you all can guess what's happening in the next chapter (if you've read The Hobbit, that is). ;)**


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six: Game Changing**

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><p>Stopping for a rest at a cozy Shire Inn after traveling for a few weeks, the company of Thorin Oakenshield was very relaxed and everyone was entertaining themselves with some soothing pastime or another. Bifur, Bofur and Bombur were playing a dwarvish drinking game very loudly and some of the customers would occasionally send a glare their way; Bilbo suspected this only encouraged them. Oin, Dwalin, Nori and Thorin were discussing plans and maps with Gandalf, who was mostly occupied with his smoke rings and paid only vague attention to their scheming. Gloin was off in a dark corner going through his own belongings, focusing especially on letters he seemed to have brought along. Ori practiced his flute-playing, and a few patrons had actually coyly grouped closer to where he sat, pretending not to enjoy the music as much as they did. Kili and Fili had struck up a card game of which Buffy, Bilbo, Balin and Dori eventually joined in. It was a game Bilbo knew well, he was quite pleased to find, and he helped Buffy muddle through the particulars of the game rules as they went. He had some help though. Kili was constantly either praising her for a great play or poking fun at her for little mistakes. Fili kept telling her special tricks he found useful. Bilbo was almost jealous, but tried not to show it. He actually liked Kili, Fili, Balin and Dori a great deal more than most of the group; now was not the time to let his slowly growing fondness of Buffy get the better of him.<p>

Buffy found their game similar to hearts, but it took her awhile to figure out the different looking cards and all the bizarre rules that were part of it. It was actually pretty dang fun, and she had to admit she enjoyed sitting in a cozy pub and sleeping in a real bed for once, as opposed to getting insanely sore from riding Chomper all day and then soothing her pain with the deliciously uncomfortable ground at night. At least Bombur was a good cook, even if the meals were more infrequent than she would have liked.

Between Bilbo, Fili and Kili, it was a wonder she made any choices in the game for herself. Fili and Kili acted really boyish most of the time and it was apparent they were not so subtly flirting with her. Fili whispered another suggestion in her ear and Buffy caught sight of Bilbo scowling at him out of the corner of her eye. More than Fili and Kili's tendency to invade her bubble, Bilbo's annoyance made her face feel warm and she didn't want to think about the implications of that.

They had spent a great deal of their travel time riding side by side so far. Occasionally, she would ride by Gandalf and pester him with questions about 'Middle-Earth', as she now knew the world was called, and repartee was slowly developing between the Slayer and some of the dwarves, but she still preferred being in Bilbo's company. They didn't even talk all that much, but she felt like their silences were extremely companionable. He would occasionally ask her small questions about herself and where she came from, thankfully so far they hadn't been too personal; she didn't mind discussing her role as a vampire slayer, but she didn't feel like talking about all her messed up relationships just yet. Buffy had began to ask Bilbo questions too, about the Shire, himself, his family and sometimes they would just gossip about the dwarves, whispering and giggling by the campfire. Bilbo was really very funny, once she got used to his more old-fashioned and reserved perspective on the world. She loved hearing about his childhood because it had been so carefree and himself so full of wonder. Buffy had never had curiosity quite that intense.

She had started to joke around a little with Bofur, finding him less creepy as she began to understand his innate cheekiness. In the case of Nori, she had been unable to resist asking him to show her how he styled his hair the ludicrous but amazing way he did, and from that conversation they had moved onto to some discussion of weapons and fighting, which had drawn in Dwalin and Gloin, and even Thorin had listened in, though he _pretended _not to. Fili and Kili liked to tell her all kinds of stories and legends during supper, and in return Buffy would try to share some of her own strange tales, during which time most of the company would become silent and attentive, if very confused and disbelieving.

Thorin still was the least accepting of her in every sense, and in return she couldn't say she liked the guy very much; he really rubbed her the wrong way. He would roll his eyes when she became slightly braggy about how many demons she'd killed, and she would mimic his voice and expressions to Bilbo when his back was turned. She still called him Thor; she simply _could not_ resist inciting that satisfying look of utter irritation that took over his face whenever she did.

As she smiled, recalling all her most enjoyable recent memories, while plotting her strategic move to follow Balin's, she realized that she was seriously having _fun_. FUN. Buffy Summers wasn't dreading the perils to come, she was looking forward to them. She was with many who were fellow warriors, and yet, the fate of the entire world didn't lie on her shoulders, in this world she really had less troubles than most of her new companions. This epiphany almost made her feel guilty. Dawn and her friends were essentially abandoned by her, as were all her previous responsibilities.

It wasn't her fault though. The PTB had a plan apparently, and she just had to hope that it was one with a nice retirement plan for her loved ones. She missed Dawn, Willow and Xander a ton sometimes, but she must be a terrible person, because she was rather glad to be rid of the nagging demand they had on her to be fearless leader; she didn't miss _that_.

Although he was by no means any warrior or soldier, Bilbo was her favorite person here anyway. He was kind, gentlemanly, amusing and intelligent, if a bit jumpy and nervous about any danger that might lie ahead. His capableness and bravery on their quest was yet to be tested, but Buffy couldn't help but agree with Gandalf, something about Bilbo gave her confidence in him. And privately in her own head, she couldn't help but feel kind of light and fluffy when he gave her those certain looks he only gave her, which held warmth that one _could_ mistake for hidden longing. She had to stop herself at that thought. She wanted to enjoy the moment without any of that kind of drama; she'd had enough of it for three lifetimes. She didn't want to analyze their friendship or interactions with a romantic lens; didn't really want to think of hobbits as amorous beings anyway, though she may happen to be one now. Best for now just to focus on the mission. Tried and true policy right? Well, more or less.

As the evening wore on, the company had drifted into a parlor area, to become even more sedate before finally wandering off to their rooms. Buffy was lucky in that being the only female, she would have her own room while everyone else had to share.

Bilbo and Gandalf smoked pipeweed, blowing impressive rings that Buffy watched lazily.

"Can I try it?" She asked, her envy of those rings and their mellow countenances finally breaking her down.

Bilbo chuckled. "I thought you said it was 'disgusting and unhealthy'?"

"Well...I mean, I could be wrong and...I was in a bad mood when I said that. Gimme _please_, and show me how to make the rings."

Everyone laughed when she coughed loudly after inhaling, and again more loudly when her attempt to form a ring resulted in a humourous and accidental kissy face, but nothing that resembled a ring. "Stuff it, you oafs. You try this Bombur and see if _you_ do any better." Bombur didn't, and this time Buffy too laughed good-naturedly with the rest of the company.

She and Bilbo got into a rhythm of passing his pipe back and forth, and the others of the party that smoked, brought out their pipes as well, so that wisps, billows, swirls and rings of smoke clouded their private parlor.

Gandalf smiled at them all, glad he had decided to give them one last normal rest before they were no longer in the Shire, despite Thorin's protests. His eyes wandered to Bilbo and Buffy, whose intimate act of sharing a pipe was eliciting knowing looks between some of the others, completely unbeknownst to the pair of them. Buffy looked utterly content in this moment, but Bilbo's bliss was not as singular an emotion as hers. His face expressed yearning as well as contentment when his eyes turned to her. Gandalf wondered at this development, hoping their Mr. Baggins wasn't in for heartbreak as well as danger in the days ahead.

It was at this moment that he became aware Thorin had left on his own, to bed, to the lounge or for fresh air, the wizard knew not, but it wasn't so unusual. Thorin made a point of separating himself from the group, a behavior that, if one looked closely enough at Buffy's stories, wasn't at all different from her own tendencies in a similar position. That was probably why they did not like one another; no one wants to be reminded of those traits which they'd prefer to forget they possessed.

* * *

><p>Thorin had in fact gone to the bar to get one last ale, and reflect for a moment, <em>alone<em>. He sat at a table by himself looking at Thror's map while he drank, glancing at the flicker of the flames in the nearby hearth. The crowd was thinning out rapidly now, only a few others still lingered, either quite drunk or lost in conversation with a chum. He wished he could escape his worry, but he had an ill-feeling about their journey and felt, not for the last time, that his consuming desire to reclaim his kingdom could mean ill-fortune some in his company. He alone was responsible for their fate, no matter what might be said otherwise. It was his calling, his responsibility. Sometimes it was draining to watch his friends, kin and allies (and the Halflings) make merry and be raucous, when every passing moment he became more anxious to speed up their travel, to live up to a promise he made to himself so very long ago. He was not a rambler, a toymaker, a miner or even merely a warrior, he was a dethroned king, and he often wondered if there was a more taxing burden. He was a proud man yes, but how could he fully justify that pride until he had lived up to his own standards?

He was deciding that he ought to cut out this silly circular thinking, when the bell for the door jingled, announcing a late-coming patron. Very late-coming, for it was not so long before the innkeeper closed up now. He looked up to see the newcomer, more out of habit than actual interest; the Shire was a dull place in his opinion. Pleasant but dull. They were a coddled lot, these Hobbits.

It was a Hobbit to be sure, but a female, which was odd within itself in a place such as this. She looked very young, barely a woman really, and she walked slowly, each step deliberate and her eyes flashed to the sides as she approached the bar. It was clear she was not in her element and she had the look of someone impossibly lost. She wore a cloak with a hood which she lowered to speak to the barkeeper. She spoke softly but with a tint of shrill so that he could hear everything she said.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you sir...but I-I wondered if you had seen a woman I'm looking for come through here. She is smaller than me and has uh, blonde hair. She can be really rude... Kicks butt? I overheard someone mentioning her and a group of dwarves heading this direction."

Thorin's ears burned, but what business had this girl with his insufferable female burglar? The description of her being rude pleased him; he was not the only who found her so.

"Yes, I did, now you mention it, she went into one of the private parlors with some dwarves, a wizard and a man I can only assume is her husband." An awkward thought struck the barkeep. "Please tell me he isn't _your_ husband?"

"No, no! Nothing _like that_." The pretty young Hobbit raised her hands frantically in protest but then added under her breath, "But at this point anything's possible...".

Thorin had heard enough. He wasn't going to allow this nosy barkeep let this strange girl in with his company. She didn't look dangerous, but assassins came in all shapes and sizes and Buffina wasn't likely to lack enemies.

"What business do you have with this woman? What is she to you? She must be someone _very important_, that you enter an establishment occupied in general only by men, un-chaperoned, late at night." He questioned, rising from his table and approaching the now very skittish looking brunette. Insinuating any lack of honorability usually triggered an immediate response from people in his experience. Straighter hair even than Buffina..._could she_...?

The girl, who he noticed was very tall for a female Hobbit though still much shorter than him, went from skittish to venomous in seconds. She crossed her arms over her chest and her eyes narrowed to slits. "Not that it's any of your business, but she's my sister, you _douche_. And I don't need a chaperone, thank you _very _much."

Thorin rolled his eyes and sighed, stroking his eyebrow; he was too tired for this madness. "Would your name happen to be Dawn? I am Thorin son of Thrain, if you wish to correct your error in referring to me as a 'douche', whatever foul name that may be in your native dialect."

"How do you know my name?" Dawn asked, blushing a little at his reprimand.

"Buffina mentions you quite frequently. I take it you were somehow separated and she has been worried for your safety."

Dawn gulped and couldn't help but smile with relief. "You're one of the dwarvish company then. I'm sorry I called you a douche... Dawn daughter of Joyce at your service, Thorin son of Thrain." She said with a curtsy, having picked up on many rules of social etiquette during her time of aimless wandering in the Shire.

For a second Thorin didn't respond, surprised that her manners, though not exactly polished, were not in jest as her sister's would have been. "And I am at _yours,_ Miss Summers. Come, I will take you to your sister. She will be glad to see you."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: First of all, Merry Christmas Eve! Time flies!<strong>

**Okay, so I lied, on accident. The chapter with the trolls will probably be after the next chapter. So Dawn is going to be in the story, the reason for that is going to be explained eventually. There will also be two more *surprise* Buffy-verse characters that will have large-ish roles, and another that will have more of a cameo. You can try to guess for fun if you like. ;)**

**I have the basic outline all figured out (with the help of the book obviously), and this story should end up generally close to the book events-wise, but the ending will be a bit altered (how could it not be?). My somewhat rough estimate for chapter count is 33 chapters and an epilogue, but it will probably end up being less (or more, hard to say).**

**Sorry if anyone hates Dawn too much, I've always wanted to write her in a crossover and am so far enjoying doing so.**

**Thanks for the ongoing support all. :)**


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven: A Very Chaotic and Disorderly Place**

* * *

><p>"Why doesn't anyone mention any dwarf women?" Buffy asked Bilbo via a whisper in his ear that looked suggestive to those observing.<p>

"I think maybe there aren't very many of them, so they are very protective." Bilbo whispered back.

"Oi, would you drop your sweet talk over there? The two of you and your googly eyes are gonna make me puke in Bifur's satchel." Dwalin was unfortunate enough to be sitting directly across from what looked like annoyingly over the top puppy love, in his estimation.

"Yeah, I bet Mr. Baggins will be using his burglar skills to switch rooms tonight." Bofur said with a wink.

Buffy was coughing on the Old Toby once again and Bilbo was pink to his ears, but before they could defend themselves, Thorin returned with an unexpected guest.

It took Buffy a moment after such an embarrassing misunderstanding to register what was happening, as a furry footed Dawn rushed up and hugged her with a loud, "Buffy! You're a Hobbit too."

Dawn released her, adding, "I would have been pissed if you got to be an elf or human."

"D-D-Dawnie? But how? What? Huh?" For some reason, Buffy had never thought that anybody could have been sucked in by that mystical light but herself. This new development was muddling her train of thought.

"Bright light, then, poof! Same for you?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I thought I was the only one..."

"So did I, until about a week ago when I started hearing people gossip about you. I guess you're destined to be famous anywhere you end up." Thorin made a derisive sound at this comment.

"Buffina, perhaps you should formally introduce our guest." Gandalf suggested, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Buffy was suddenly aware that every dwarf in the room, and Bilbo, were staring at her and Dawn, looking bewildered or uncomfortable. "Oh, yeah. Ehem. Everyone, this is my sister Dawn. Dawn, this is...everyone."

Gandalf had hoped for Buffy to be more thorough in her introductions and was about to verbalize this wish, when Balin saved Buffy from the reprimands of a wizard.

"Pleased to meet you Dawn, Balin at your service." He bowed and Dawn curtsied. His action was repeated by Dwalin, followed by Bifur (though his was in dwarvish), Bofur, Bombur, Oin, Gloin, Fili and Kili (simultaneously), Ori, Dori and lastly Nori.

Bilbo had decided to wait until all the tedious dwarf greetings were over with. "My name is Bilbo Baggins, and I am so glad to finally meet you; your sister speaks so fondly of you."

Dawn was surprised by this information. She had trouble imagining her sister praising her highly to others. She loved Buffy, but the vampire slayer wasn't one to gush about _anyone_. "Nice to meet you Bilbo." She liked the look of this guy, and remembered what the barkeeper said early. She edged up beside Buffy. "He isn't your husband, is he?"

Buffy started. "What?! Why does _everyone_ think we're together? I mean...why would you _think _that?"

Everyone was now staring at the slightly panicky Buffy. Dawn was silent because Buffy's overreaction had taken her aback. Oin readjusted his ear horn so as not to miss anything juicy.

To everyone's amazement, it was Thorin who broke the awkward silence. "The barkeep is a meddlesome fellow and assumed, rightfully so due to the fact that you are traveling with a large group of men not of your breed, that one of you must be married to Mr. Baggins here. A reasonable misunderstanding."

Buffy snapped shut her agape mouth. Leave it to Thorin to use backhanded diplomacy. Bilbo looked like he wanted nothing more than to melt into nothing and escape down a crack in the floorboards as he stood awkwardly scratching his neck.

"Oh. Well, that makes sense." She cleared her throat. "I-uh, think I need to have a chat with my sister alone." She gave Dawn a look that said this wasn't an optional scenario.

It was fine by Dawn. They needed to sort out this craziness. Dawn smirked, feeling totally immature because she was amused by Thorin using the word 'breed'. It was gloriously uncomfortable.

"I think that would be wise." Gandalf added, not unkindly.

Buffy and Dawn slipped out the door and Thorin gave Gandalf a meaningful look. "I expect you think we should bring this young girl along with us as well, don't you?" This expedition was becoming a joke, and damned if this wizard gave a hoot.

"Come now Thorin, I said nothing of the sort. I'm not sure however, that banning the young lady from the company would be an at all gentlemanly thing to do. She is after all alone in this world apart from her relation to Buffina."

"That is no fault of mine. Perhaps they should both stay. It is never a good idea to bring women on such perilous and important journeys, much less _Hobbit-Women_."

"Fiddlesticks, I have known more than a few Hobbit girls to be quite capable adventurers. Dawn could be considered a backup burglar. She is not quite the seasoned warrior her sister is, but like Mr. Baggins here, I think she could prove to be far more useful than you suspect." Gandalf could see that Thorin was teetering. "Buffy will come in handy in combat, and Dawn seems a willing to please young lady, if nothing else you could bring her along to help with meals and to wash clothes; I'm sure she would agree to such terms if it allowed her to stay with her sister." Gandalf thought but didn't mention, that if Buffy wanted to bring her sister along, Thorin could deny her wish over her dead Hobbit body as far as the feisty vampire slayer was concerned.

Thorin didn't answer, suddenly extremely aware that all the dwarves and Mr. Baggins were still in the room watching him expectantly. "Leave us." He said simply and firmly, and the group didn't have to be told twice, muttering goodnights as they vacated the parlor.

"I do not feel comfortable being responsible for these young women. I would feel more at ease if they remained in this docile place."

"My friend, you are just looking at it the wrong way _entirely_. You don't need to feel responsible for Buffy and Dawn Summers; they have fared better than most with only one another, in far worse situations than your apt to be involved in, believe it or not. They will be responsible for themselves whether it is or isn't your particular wish."

"Tis all too strange." Thorin sank into a large armchair. The world of Buffy and Dawn must be a very chaotic and disorderly place.

"Have faith, Thorin son of Thrain, very high powers have set these two beings in your path, I doubt without good reason." Gandalf rose and patted Thorin's shoulder. "I suggest you get some rest."

Gandalf left Thorin sitting by himself in the large parlor. The Dwarf King sat staring into the fire for a few minutes, pondering the arrival of the younger Summers. At least she was more respectful than her sister; far more attractive as well..._not _that her appearance was a relevant factor. In fact, the last thing he needed was his foolish nephews Fili and Kili pining after a teenage hobbit. They were bad enough with Buffy, who clearly preferred Mr. Baggins to either of them. If she disrupted their plans, couldn't hold her own, or whined incessantly, he would make someone less giddy like Dori or Balin drag her back to the Shire.

Buffy and Dawn soaked side by side in separate bubble baths, savoring every moment of a once regular act, that was now a rare luxury. Buffy had regaled Dawn with her escapades over the past weeks and was now listening while Dawn shared her side.

Dawn had wandered around, trying to wheedle information from strangers, sleeping in trees and in fields and stealing vegetables from gardens for days when at last, she was caught. An elderly Hobbit woman saw her stowing apples away in the deep pockets of her dress, but to Dawn's shock, hadn't been angry.

"You know dear, if you are so famished, you could have just asked. Now come on inside and bring those apples with you. We'll make some dumplings." The elderly woman had said in a placating voice.

"I told Dandy that I had gotten lost while traveling and been separated from my friends and family. She assumed my family had been moving from Bree to the Shire, and I didn't correct her. She let me stay with her for weeks. She said she could use my help in the garden and around the house." Dawn snorted. "I think she'd have been better off without my 'help'. I burnt like five different dinners and accidentally destroyed her lettuce crop..."

Buffy scrunched her nose, cupping bubbly foam in her hands. "How?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Dawn said in a low voice that suggested bad memories. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure I changed my story multiple times; she had to know I was lying. She let me stay anyway and I actually learned a lot from her. I mean, about cooking, gardening, manners, cellars, making clothes...yeah, but also, life. She had so much...wisdom. Kind of like Giles, except more fun and less bookish." Dawn stopped talking and stared at the bubbles for a moment with a secretive smile on her lips, apparently lost in a memory.

"When did you leave?" Buffy asked quietly; for a moment she wasn't sure Dawn had heard her question.

"About six days ago. We'd been to the market and I overheard some men gossiping while they smoked, about a large group of dwarves who were travelling with two hobbits and one of the Big-folk along the East Road. One of them happened to mention that he'd seen the blonde female when he was selling stock in Bywater, and after nearly running him over with her pony," Dawn paused, smirking at her sister. Buffy shrugged. "Spoke with him briefly in a strange accent, describing his cows as all 'solid-y' when she thought cows were spotty. Really Buffy? Solid-y? How can you be twenty-three and still think cows are only one possible color?"

"At least _I_ didn't destroy some kind old lady's lettuce." Buffy mumbled, refusing to feel self-conscious just because never having been a country girl, she had no knowledge of cattle varieties.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "He said that you'd been called away by a dwarf who called you 'Buffy lassie'." One side of Buffy's mouth curved up. Sweet old Balin. He'd always been nice to her. "After that I asked around, and it sounded like you'd be heading East towards Bree. I was in Frog-morton at the time; that's where Dandy lives. I figured out that you'd already passed by though. I told Dandy that I'd heard news of my sister and had to leave...she said to come visit her again someday. I want to. If she put up with me for that whole time, she must be _really_ lonely."

"I agree." Buffy said. Dawn glared daggers at her. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Jeez, relax jack."

Dawn's face became very serious. "Do you think we'll ever get back to our world?"

"I have no idea sis, but in all honesty, I very seriously doubt it."

"You don't seem upset..." Dawn looked at her sister suspiciously.

"I'm not really, no." The one thing Buffy was bothered by right now was the one thing she couldn't admit to her sister; she wasn't planning on having to babysit Dawn on this treasure-reclaiming mission. She hadn't intended to see anyone from her world again and it was upsetting her groove. "I find it hard to believe too, but, I actually like it here. And I want to help these guys take their mountain back. I want...to be a soldier again. I was depressed and bored Dawn, so bored, and I didn't know how to tell you without sounding completely hypocritical. Besides, I'm starting to grow fond of peeps here; I could get used to this."

"I get it Buffy. You wanted to be normal for so long, but then, going back after so much time and madness...it wasn't possible. Also, I like it here too. Once you get used to bleeding on rags, low personal hygiene and an overall backwardness, it's really pretty bomb." Dawn loved hearing the legends and tales of olden times and distant lands, and had poured through the few books Dandy had regarding the topics. She was especially hoping to see elves and now, a dragon.

Buffy stepped out of the tub and started toweling off, considering Dawn's words. Dawn followed suit.

"Not everywhere is like the Shire though. I've been in the company of Gandalf and Thorin's company for weeks now and I've heard some not-so-pleasant stories; the rest of this world is a harsh place. Where we're going isn't full of bubble baths and sweet old ladies; it's _The Wild_ and it sounds like a playground for demony-business." Buffy stopped talking as they walked from the bathroom to their room in their towels.

The staff had been so _kind _as to have already taken their clothes for them, probably to be washed. Dawn's face was a mask; she was trying to retain her anger at least until she was sure her sister was taking this conversation where she thought she would take it. They had an awkward encounter with Thorin who was coming up the stairs as they passed. He seemed to be having difficulty figuring out what to do with his eyes, his immediate and warm-blooded inclination being to stare at the blushing brunette's long hair and proportions, and his second to not look at either of them at all and continue walking as if he had never seen them. The impish Buffina was not kind enough to allow him this hasty retreat.

"Well-played _Thor_, timing it so you could see us without our clothes and make it _seem_ like an accident. _Really_ classy."

"Buffy! You're embarrassing me...it's just a coincidence." Dawn muttered in exasperation.

Thorin almost didn't say anything ere he walked past them...but he failed. Buffy was far too infuriating. "Don't flatter yourself." He hissed as he walked past her.

Buffy glared at his back. She had been teasing him, but insulting her looks was just..._too far._ She also had not missed the way he looked at her seventeen year old sister either. Pervert asshole with his stupid freakin Oakenshield story; phallic symbol much? Okay, maybe she was overreacting, but not only did he insult her looks and check out her sister, but he insulted her looks _twice_, by barely glancing at her when she was dripping and in a towel. Dick.

After they had entered the room and Buffy had locked the door, she recommenced their conversation from before she decided Thorin was a perv as well as a jerk.

"I don't think you should come along. I want you to stay in the Shire, you can go back to Dandy, or Bilbo can drop you off in Buckland; he has some relatives there. I've put you through enough danger Dawn, I won't do it again. I want you to be safe."

Dawn's mouth dropped open. Being given an entirely new life hadn't changed her sister a smidge. She was just as stubborn, overprotective and unreasonable as ever. Dawn didn't believe Buffy though; this wasn't about keeping Dawn safe at all. She just didn't _want_ her to come. Whether out of jealously or just disdain for her company, the younger Summers didn't know. She guessed both, but didn't see the point of arguing that point. Buffy would never admit to selfish reasons.

"I want to come and you can't stop me. It's not your mission, _remember_? You may be my guardian back home, but you can't control my life here; I won't let you. Thorin wanted a burglar, and unlike you and Bilbo, I actually have lots of experience stealing things. For once Buffy, you're not the all powerful one; Thorin and Gandalf seem to be the ones calling the shots around here."

Buffy laughed mockingly. "You think...it's just too funny...that Thorin will let you join this mission without _my_ blessing, just because he thinks you're a cute little piece of jailbait? That's hilarious, because I know him _way _better than you do, and he is _not_ that fun."

Dawn could've punched Buffy's face at that moment. "So really this is about a guy finding me prettier and more charming than you? Or is it just that you won't be able to be the center of attention anymore? Afraid I'll take away your audience?"

Buffy was furious and for a second her hand twitched for a stake. "You are _not_ going. You'll get yourself kidnapped by goblins, or fall in a river or summon something evil; it's _what you do_. You're hardly cut out for a life of peril."

"That's your opinion. I'm going to bed." With those final words Dawn crawled into the small bed by the window, turning on her side to face away from Buffy, hurt and unwilling to continue arguing.

Buffy slipped under the covers in the other bed, feeling a little bad for the 'it's what you do' comment now. She was still fuming though. Dawn was being such a brat. If Thorin went over her helmet, she was going to scrub the cobblestone with him.

Bilbo, Thorin, Balin and Dwalin were unfortunate enough to have taken the room beside the Summers sisters that night. Bifur, Bofur and Bombur had the next room over, but weren't able to make out many specific words. Not so for the room next door. Buffy and Dawn's volumes had been on the brink of enraged shouting and the four of them had heard every word, whether they cared to or not.

Bilbo, despite not actually being able to avoid overhearing them, felt guilty for having overheard such a heated, private conversation. He pulled the covers closer to his chin, somewhat saddened that their family reunion was going downhill so fast. He tried to see Dawn's side, but she was so young and he felt that Buffy was right in wanting her to stay in the Shire. If he had a younger sister, he would be very protective as well. Buffy's endless rancor in regards to Thorin was sort of baffling to him. Thorin could be a bit crusty, but Buffy seemed to find him insufferable. Bilbo was beginning to wonder if Dawn might have a point; Buffy was used to being in charge and answerableness to Thorin, was a thorn in her side. He was sure she regretted her spiteful words however, Buffy had always been so sweet to him; he could not see her as an unfeeling being.

Balin had merely chuckled inside, remembering his own quarrels with siblings which were so dire at the time, but in memory seemed foolish.

Dwalin's primary thought was the he wished they would shut up, and if this was how they always were, they could drop one or both of them out on their arsses in Buckland. Better yet, he would just hand them each a dagger and deem only the survivor worthy. He just wanted to sleep.

Thorin, because of his unmentioned run-in with the pair earlier, his position as the one who would have to actually make the decision about who to bring, and being the main subject of debate, was far more uncomfortable than his three roommates combined.

What he overheard had not warmed him to Buffy by any stretch, if anything, his dislike grew firmer. Accusing him of lack of humor and honor all at once was very low, and the idea that he needed Buffy's blessing for _anything, _was extremely offensive.

As for the younger one, he did not know enough of her to make many judgments, but if she indeed had experience as a burglar, her expertise could be useful. Was it worth it to have the two of them as they were tonight, disrupting the stability of the group?

Gandalf had not so subtly suggested that he should bring them both. Although the wizard was a meddlesome fellow, Thorin knew he was wise, and powerful. He would sleep on it. Maybe in the morning everything would be clearer.

* * *

><p>Dawn made sure to be up before Buffy, not that it was very difficult because she'd slept fitfully, waking up many times. She'd dressed, tied back her hair in front of the mirror (braiding slender strands on both sides of her head to look more local) and snuck out, relieved that her sister was out like a light and snoring. Dawn didn't know that this was probably because unlike herself, Buffy had tried some ale and smoked plenty of pipeweed, neither of which she was exactly accustomed to.<p>

Dawn crept down the steps and made her way into the main lounge, finding Thorin, Gandalf and Gloin already up and seated at a table. She approached, fiddling with her fingers and trying not to feel nervous.

"Good morning!" She said, trying to sound natural and sitting beside Gandalf. Gloin sort of mumbled his greeting and Thorin said his very softly without looking up from his breakfast.

"Good morning Dawn! You are looking well-rested this morning. Here, help yourself to the eggs and bacon..." Gandalf guessed that Dawn wouldn't be down here on her own unless she had and Buffy had some kind of disagreement; he could guess what about.

Dawn realized a few weeks ago such a feast for breakfast would have amazed her, but she had become very used to since living with a Hobbit. She began serving herself, wondering how she should address Thorin about what troubled her. It seemed awkward, but it would only be more so when the others started waking up. She halted the act of filling her plate and dropped her hands to her lap.

"Thorin, I was wondering if I could discuss something really important with you...alone." She would actually prefer to talk to him with Gandalf there but Gloin had to be an early-riser and disrupt her plans. She couldn't say, 'I want to discuss something really important with you...Gloin has to leave.'

Gandalf hummed as he ate, pretending to ignore them. Gloin likewise, seemed uninterested.

Thorin set down his utensils and placed his napkin on the table, rising. "Very well. Come."

Dawn followed him into the parlor they had occupied the night before, suddenly feeling extremely shy and foolish.

"What is it you wish to discuss with me?" Thorin asked, his arms crossed. He knew what it was of course, but there would be little gained in embarrassing the lass by admitting _that _to her.

Dawn cleared her throat. "I would like to join your company and aid you in your quest." She announced, trying to make it sound as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "As a burglar." She added. "If you would be so kind as to allow me the opportunity, King of Durin's Folk." Dawn had paid close attention to the trivia Buffy had haphazardly included in her recount of her time in Middle-Earth.

"I see." Thorin said, noting the anxiety in her eyes. He had to resist smiling at her overly worshipful style of request which was both amusing and a tad flattering. "What qualifications have you as a burglar?"

"I've stolen loads of stuff from...shops and whatnot. I was never caught." Dawn kept looking down, feeling ashamed of a skill she was attempting to use to get hired. The _never_ part wasn't exactly true, but close enough.

Thorin saw her ill-hidden shame and found it odd that the innocent-looking girl before him was a seasoned thief. "Did you steal out of necessity?"

"...No. It just made me feel a rush, you know? Like of power." Dawn had never admitted that to anyone. She'd probably said she did it for attention, but that was only partially the case.

"Hmmm." Thorin commented softly. "Can you promise me you will not steal from myself or any member or the company?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Thorin just gave her a puzzled look. "That means yes."

"I want your solemn oath on this matter, Dawn daughter of Joyce."

"I solemnly swear" She had to resist the urge to add, _I'm up to no good_. "I won't steal anything unless _you_ tell me to."

"Then...come along if you like. I do not think you will be glad you did."

"Thank you!" She said excitedly, almost hugging Thorin, but recoiled quickly, deciding he just wasn't the type of person you hugged out of the blue. She started for the door but spun around, asking, "You don't want to know if Buffy thinks it is okay?"

"It is our agreement. I did not think your sister's opinion relevant. Are you considered such a child in your world that I must ask her permission?" Maybe it was a cruel question to ask, but Thorin was not well-rested and he was losing patience with Hobbits in general; he couldn't wait to be free of this soft, pampered land. They made good food and pipeweed, but were duller than his childhood axe.

Dawn's cheeks burned, but she couldn't act angry right now, she had to stay on Thorin's good side. "No." She walked back to the lounge somewhat hastily, not feeling like being judged by Thorin right then.

Thorin guessed from her tone and hurt expression that the real answer was 'yes' and he had hit a nerve. Not that it mattered; the whole situation had always been ludicrous. If she was anything like her sister, she would probably never forgive him for offending her pride. _These women_...

When Dawn had returned to breakfast, Buffy was there chatting happily with Bilbo, and didn't even look at her. Not that Dawn cared of course...She wasn't as hungry as she had been and stared at the biscuit in her hand for a second, noticing with annoyance Thorin had returned to his seat.

"Don't look so downtrodden! You have your wish. Now, eat quickly so you and I may go procure some supplies before Mr. Oakenshield awakens fully. Once he gets moving, he isn't likely to slow down."

Dawn did as he said, liking the badass old guy more with every minute.

Gandalf and Dawn did manage to catch up with Thorin's Company, but it was close. Gandalf was able to procure a roan pony for her and by pure stroke of luck, found a tailor whose wife had Brandybuck and Took blood flowing in her veins and insisted they help Gandalf's friend for free. The husband, who wasn't overwhelmed by a plentitude of customers, compromised and gave Dawn the pants, undershirt and jacket free, but charged for the formal dress. Gandalf had seen her admiring it, and decided that if that tricky Buffy was going to stow away pretty frocks against his wishes, her young sister ought to have one too.

They'd picked up little else and in truth, had made amazing time, but had been forced to make a bit of haste.

Gandalf gave Thorin a cold look when they caught up and muttered something about the stubbornness of dwarves.

That night, after Dawn had curled up on her bedroll near Bofur and Bombur, Buffy confronted Thorin, taking advantage of the fact that he was almost always last to bed. Her arms were crossed and her eyes blazed as she glared at him without speaking.

Durin's descendant attempted to ignore her until it was clear she wasn't going to budge. "Did you have something to say?"

"You have _no _idea Oakenshield. You brought Dawn along as a burglar? How _could_ you? She's _seventeen. _I didn't want her to get killed; obviously, you don't worry about that kind of thing. She isn't a dwarf; what do _you_ care, right?"

"She came to me and requested permission to join this company. She was humble and polite; I'm not sure you have ever been. She is qualified for the task, far more than Mr. Baggins or yourself. I prefer both of them over you however, because _they_ show me respect. They understand that this mission is serious, it isn't just about you playing the hero again; it's about reclaiming the home and riches of my people, from a dragon who destroyed many of whom we loved."

"Your real quarrel is with her, because she wasn't afraid to open your eyes to your own selfish indulgence. If you want to question my authority, you know the way to Hobbiton. Do you understand me?" Thorin had been sitting but stood up, incensed. He'd tried to ignore her, but her insolence had to be put to a stop; the way she spoke to him was not something he wanted his fellow kinsman to observe any longer.

Buffy was floored for a moment; no one who wasn't evil had ever spoken to her quite like that, like she was nothing. She had just been verbally spanked by Thorin Oakenshield and she didn't like the sensation. It was worse because some of what he said held truth. It was impossible _not_ to understand him. She wasn't going to let him take away all her status though; she'd earned some respect herself. "I understand." She said, looking him the eye. "But if anything happens to Dawn, I'm holding you personally accountable."

With that, she walked away, back to her designated spot beside Bilbo. She looked down at her bedroll and blankets, which Bilbo had already set up for her; he was now sound asleep. She nearly decided to move her bed to a different part of camp, but in the end she lay down and watched Bilbo, who was smiling in his sleep. She liked spending time with him, but it bothered her that everyone thought they were...what? Sweethearts? She wasn't sure what he was to her, but she was experienced enough to be aware that her affection for him was growing with time. Interacting with Bilbo came very naturally to her now; she could always make him smile, even when he was forlorn and missing Bag End. Not that he often admitted missing his home; it just wasn't too hard to guess.

So far there was no definite evidence that anything non-platonic was or would be, going on between them. Well...there was that one time she fell asleep right next to him and rolled over so that she was facing him with her arm over him, but that was a complete accident; she'd been asleep at the time! Last night they'd shared a pipe, but it just happened to be his.

One time something had triggered her memory of Spike's death and a few tears had streamed down her face...Bilbo had given her the raggedy piece of cloth he now used as a handkerchief and brushed the loose strands of hair out of her face, asking her what was wrong. She remembered having the inclination to hug him, sob all over him, and feel sorry for herself, but had chosen the road of more dignity. She told him something vague, like she just thought of a bad memory, and left it at that. He never pushed her about being more forthcoming and she was careful in turn not to ask him questions about how his parents had died, if he'd had any girlfriends or if he'd ever felt like ending it all. She didn't want to go that deep, especially since her life had been so rank with drama and loss. It was unlikely that Bilbo had ever been forced to kill a girlfriend to save the world, or that he'd slept with someone just to feel something and used them because he was numb and they didn't have a soul.

Deep down it wasn't so much that she found the idea of her and Bilbo as an item disgusting, it was that if he knew her past, who she really was and all that she'd gone through, it would be way to much baggage to land him with. He wouldn't be the same joking, fastidious Bilbo, he would be 'careful what you say she's had a hard life' Bilbo.

Every time someone made a joke about the two of them, it reminded her of all the stuff she _hadn't_ shared with him. It was best if everything stayed as it was. Without any emotional outbursts _or_ funny business.

Buffy closed her eyes and whispered, "Good night Bilbo."

"Good night Buffy." He responded.

"Faker."

"You were thinking so loudly over there I could hear your thoughts."

"I sure hope not..." Buffy mumbled as she dozed off and Bilbo wondered about the strange comment.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Been a long time since an update I know. Partially because right after my last update I was busy in a law enforcement academy, which kind of disrupts many trains of thought. Honestly thoug,h I'm just moody with writing and updating. <strong>

**Hope you enjoy it. Remember, don't take it too seriously, I post on here for fun, not lots of advice or insults. Also ,as the crazy Hobbit fan I am...super excited for Desolation of Smaug. :)**


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